I didn't believe it until it happened to me

Before I had kids, people said things like, "Yes, having babies is painful, but afterwards you just forget the pain." Now THAT, I'm here to tell you, is bullshit. You do not forget it. Or at least, I don't. Now, do I think that it was worth it to have these little munchkins in my life? Yes. But I will never forget it. There are a lot of dumb things that people say, and I mostly dismiss them as just being something that gets repeated without people really thinking about it. I thought that when people said, "Once your babies get to be toddlers, you'll miss having little tiny ones, and you'll want more." it was just another one of those things. Because I thought I wanted lots of kids, but then I had these two and I thought...um, I really didn't understand what I was saying. Two children is A LOT of children. And being pregnant is really hard. Or at least it was for me. Puking, and wanting to puke pretty much every minute that I was awake, heartburn from day 1, pains in parts of body that just shouldn't hurt, waking up every 2 hours to pee, let alone hospitalizations, months of contractions, months spent on my couch... I could go on and on, but I think I get my point across. I really thought that once was probably enough. And newborns did nothing to change my mind. The exhaustion...(oh God, the exhaustion), and the colic, and the mindblowing responsibility...I just didn't think I could take it all again.

But lately...well, the girls are so much fun now. Really. Chris has been bugging me to hire a babysitter and take more time off during the week, and I just haven't gotten around to it. Because the days are alright. At some point I'd like some more time to myself, yes. And I should hire a babysitter so the girls can get to know someone else, for those times that we do need to go somewhere. But the other day when Chris asked me if I thought I'd like to go back to work at some point, I said...well, I'm glad I'm not now, because I'd miss so much during the days if I did. And I meant it. And that is quite a change. I used to stare longingly at him leaving in the morning while I held a baby (or two) and dreaded the 8 hours before we saw him again. Now it's routinely more like 11 hours, and most of it's enjoyable. They play, and they're silly, and I swear they get cuter every day.

And this week, I was going through old photos of the last year, putting together a book of our lives since the girls were born. And seeing how little and cute they were...oh, those chubby little cheeks, and those little milky smiles...doing it all again didn't sound nearly as bad.

2 comments:

  Sara

May 18, 2008 at 5:58 PM

This post made me laugh. I am starting to think this is it for me. Pregnancy and having infants is hard! You have done a great job and I love the pic of them when they were tiny. :-)

  Linda98ny (nestie)

May 19, 2008 at 7:50 PM

Maybe it is true then that you do forget a lot of the bad especially as they get older and more fun and manageable. I always felt you gave great support about struggling with twins, so it's wonderful to read how much you're enjoying them now.